Wednesday, 28 October 2009
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cast the first stone
It's impossible to tell a tale that circles itself, as mine does. Those outside, peering in, only see the venom. The thing that eats itself for no other reason but desire. The questionable completion of a faulty need. But infinity is a myth, as perfection is, and it seems that a thousand glass houses would shatter the same as one.
Put down the boulder. Walk away. It's just a matter of pride.
But you judge as you do, because you are afraid. Because you don't understand. Because something is different. It's grey. This is why the witches were burned: out of fear. Out of greed. Out of revenge. A little Practical Magic of politics and holier-than-thou superiority. These things don't just lurk in the shadows, or tiptoe easily into being. They cling to your indrawn breath. They slide into the chambers of your heart, freeing themselves, penetrating your body and your soul.
In that moment, many things are lost. Destroyed almost without thought. There is no going back from such a moments--a backwards Eden, where all the lies are coated in lust. You may not forgive or forget. You may not see or hear. You assume. You take in half the facts, corrupting each letter.
That it what separates us: your lack of compassion.
I wear my heart easily enough. Or it wears me. And you sneer at it. I have no charm against that. There is no incantation for it, no stone to cast, and no knife to cut through such pain. I am bare. I am standing in the middle of the flames; you lit the pyre. I simply grace it. I simply face it, because I have no choice. You've trapped me here. And if this is my destiny, so be it. But love is not love in your eyes. Not in the middle of such ruin. Broken as it may be, you call it 'unworthy.'
That is not your choice to make. It never was.
So, from the outside looking in, you cannot see what I see. But even if you did, you might love wisely, but not to well. And that--that is the difference.
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Comments (9)
I think...people need to find their match in love. Someone that's capable and willing to love them as much as they will love back. When the balance is uneven (someone loves more than the other) they feel...taken for granted and neglected.
You should never burn for someone else's inadequacy in love.
@SladeTheGreyFox - That wasn't what inspired this, although I see how you could see it that way. It's more about someone looking from the outside and judging a relationship. And I totally agree with you--love should be equal.
@Blue__Summer - Ahh, I see it now. (No coffee yet, forgive me.) The speaker definitely feels jilted, I think. Like they've been played, used.
At first I also saw it as Slade there did, but after reading your explanation and the re-reading, I think I get it now.
People feel safety in sameness. When you do something the pack isn't doing, they turn on you. Been there. But even if it followed everyone's expectations for what love should look like, no one outside of a love really understands it. Not really.
loved the visit ... will have to drop in again ... : )
(I hope this comment makes sense, I haven't yet had my coffee.)
Sometimes, when people have lived longer than we, they begin to assume they have the right to impart the wisdom they've gained over their lifetimes.
That may be true, and altogether altruistic at heart; but what some people have forgotten is that youth (life, really) is an experience, a time to seek out truth and beauty and be scorched by the harshness of reality. This is how we gain our wisdom, how we grow as individuals. From the outside, it's easy to choose the safer course. But the safer road does not always lead to better places.
Sometimes, it hurts more to have that right to experience taken away than it would have been to have the experience itself.
Hm, now what could you possibly be making a reference to? Unless everything went completely over my head....haha....
I got the sense that it was someone outside judging, but didn't realize that it was judging a relationship instead of just a person.
"you might love wisely, but not to well" line really caught my eye. That one line spokes of so many nuances in love. Loving wisely implies with thoughts, thinking, logic. Loving well implies just that: loving with your heart.
Your words always stir something inside me. Thank you for sharing it!
I have a decent feeling I know what you're referring to in this entry and I have to say that you're absolutely right. A person looking at a relationship from the outside can speculate, but they'll never truly know what the relationship is like.